I have been roped into a play called Dinner.Earlier in September, I escaped my desk for a morning at the Reef Club, a private beach for bored housewives and sunburnt tourists. I spent the morning fiddling with a faulty sun-lounger and reading a book on Neuro Linguistic Programming. When my mobile rang, I did not recognise the number, and thought twice about answering. I took the call on the third ring. It was Irene, an actress from Berlin, washed up in Malta, looking for someone just like me. “But you don’t even know me,” I grinned. When I put the phone down, I was sure it was one of those life-changing moments. I am now spending my evenings learning how to play Lars in a run down theatre in Valletta called MITP. Lars is a former City slick with a receding hairline who has made a lot of money from a self-help philosophy book called ‘Beyond Belief’. Beyond Belief is outselling Delia Smith at Menzies and has caught the zeitgeist of people with the need to look away from their lives. I am struggling to learn my lines. I’m not sure what MITP stands for. I have to eat ready-made meals I get back home from rehearsals in the evening. I’m not not sure I like Lars.